Saturday, October 2, 2010

Why NOT to be a vegan

  • Most people don't know what it is and can't pronounce it
  • It's hard to get a decent meal in a restaurant
  • People who heard you are a vegan expect you to be really thin when they meet you. Sorry and by the way cows are vegan.
  • Sometimes when you are watching people eat meat, you get kind of queasy
  • People assume that you are a radical, tree hugging, peacenik, which maybe you are, but still...
  • Your in-laws think you are strange, well even your own family thinks you are strange :P
  • You go to some one's house for dinner. First they try to feed you fish, figuring somehow that fish is a vegetable. When that is politely turned down, they offer you the potatoes smothered in cheese and sour cream. When that still isn't acceptable to you, they rummage around the fridge to find a head of lettuce for you to graze on.  And you told them you are a vegan when they invited you.
  • Your friends tell you that cheese less pizza is not real pizza and won't split one with you.
  • When you tell someone that you are vegan, they tell you that they really want to eat healthier and go into all the reasons (excuses) why it's hard and they can't. But you weren't interested in having the conversation go in that direction and you can't seem to get them off it.
  • It is really tiresome the zillionth time someone asks you "what do you eat?" with that you-must-be-crazy look on their face
  • The lunch you bring to work becomes the topic of conversation EVERY DAY
  • Others feel driven to point of that vegetables are alive too
  • People are insulted if you won't eat their food when visiting them
  • People will never believe in their hearts (no matter how often you tell them) that you eat this way all the time, even at home. (After all, you can't live without meat can you?)
  • People assume you are offended by every little thing
  • People assume you are vegan because you are trying to lose weight, then they say, "lean chicken is the ticket! remember, lean chicken!"
  • After getting to know you for your sparkling personality, (not to mention stunning good looks) people acted stunned and tricked when you finally get around to mentioning that you are vegan. You desperately try to think of a good attention-grabbing remark to fill the awkward silence. It's times like these I wish I was gay
  • People assume that being vegan means you don't do anything unhealthy, like eat chocolate or drink. So when you do these things they act all shocked. (but nobody is shocked when you meat eater friend smokes...hmmm)
  • When I tell someone I don't eat anything with a face they reply "well potatoes have eyes and lettuce has a head
  • Because you can't stand telling one more person that Jell-O is an animal product and having them say, "O no it is not"

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